Wednesday, July 28, 2004

FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions)

Since AOL featured my journal, I have been receiving IM's like Michael Moore is collecting money from the box office - fast and furious.  Thanks to everyone for your words of encouragement and advice.  I promise to do my best not to let anyone down.  Now that I know that I'm not in this alone (we're all in this thing together!), that is inspiration enough for me to straighten up and fly right.  In fact, for dinner, I had a burger with cheese and...(insert drumroll)...no bread!  That's right, you read correctly, I had a burger without the bun.  Now what does that tell you?  Thank you, you can stop applauding now.

However, amid all of the advice and encouragement, I got an interesting string of IM's and questions that I would like to share with the rest of you. 

Warning:  Some of these comments may cause you to laugh uncontrollably.

 

"Hey Mattsaunti, is that really your picture on AOL? Do you have any other pics of you - maybe with less clothes on? (wink)" - Willie WooWoo*

Dear Willie WooWoo, Yes that's my photo, and no, I don't have any photos of myself half-naked.  If you're interested in ogling pictures of scantily-clad women, I'm sure you can find them by going to google.com.  (wink)

 

"Hi, I didn't read your journal but I saw your pic.  Great smile.  By the way, are your married or anything?"  - I Like A Great Smile

Dear ILAGS, Thanks for taking the time to look at my photo on AOL.  I hope you get the chance to read my journal, though.  And to answer your question, no I'm not married...or anything.

 

"Hey sweetness.  If I weren't married with kids, I'd take you out and feed you all the carbs you want.  Have a nice day." - Anonymous

Dear Anonymous, I don't know if that was a compliment and/or if I should be thanking you for it.  But at least I can say thanks for checking out my journal, I guess.  By the way, the journal is about me trying to cut back on carbs, not load up on them.  You have a nice day, too!

 

"Girl, you are what I would call a SINGLE WITH CHEESE.  Where do you live?" - Checkin' You Out

Dear CYO, 'Single with cheese', never been called that before.  But I guess there's a first for everything.  If you take the time to read my journal, I gave some details about myself like where I'm from.  But I can pretty much gather that you are not from my neck of the woods because the guys around here don't call women 'singles with cheese'.

 

"Hello?  I saw your photo on AOL?  I think you have a nice smile?" - Anonymous Too

Dear Anonymous Too, Interesting choice of punctuation.  Thanks for the compliment.  Or should I say, 'Thanks for the compliment?'

 

"Hi Mattsaunti, I was checking out your photo on AOL.  You have a really nice smile.  Where do you live?  I'm in NY and maybe we could meet up.  I'm a personal trainer and I have helped many of my clients achieve a healthy lifestyle.  I could work with you, too.  With that great smile, you'd make my job easy." - Part-Time Personal Trainer

Dear PT PT, Gee, thanks for the compliment about my smile.  It seems that I have gotten a lot of that today.  And just to think, I hate that picture of myself!  Anyhoo, I don't live near NY and I don't think that a long-distance personal training relationship between us would work.

 

"Hey there, you look great in your photo.  How much weight have you lost?  Have you thought about doing Atkins or the South Beach Diet?  Not to say that you need to lose any more weight." - Clever And Really Brilliant

Dear CARB, Yeah, indeed you are clever.  Thanks for the compliment.  If you read through the journal you will see that I haven't lost a whole lot of weight.  You will also see that I was on the South Beach Diet for about four hours.

 

And there you have it, a brief sampling of the interesting IM's I have received today.  I probably will be posting more of these in the near future.  Until the next time, remember, Reading Is Fundamental.

*The names of the guilty have been changed to protect the innocent.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Single With Cheese U R 2 Much!!!!!!!!!  I love the Journal!

Nived :)